Oh Death

Oh Death.

Bring me your sweet release.

I cannot wait for you to come to me

Take me from this life.

Rescue me from my pain

My suffering

My sadness

And my loneliness.

I have waited so long for you.

When you finally come to me,

I will welcome you with open arms.

Gladly, I will embrace you.

My life,

Short as it may have been,

Has been a life full of undeserved suffering.

In the past I have tried to make you take me sooner than destined.

But my efforts have proven fruitless.

Am I here for a reason?

Am I here just to suffer?

Oh Death, why wont you rescue me?

While I am eager for your arrival,

Waiting for you with open arms.

I also fear you.

I fear you more than have ever feared anything.

I fear the unknown of you, oh Death.

How will you take me?

Will it hurt?

Will I suffer?

Will those who care about me suffer?

Or will it be quick, and painless?

A fast, sweet release.

The one I have been longing for.

I do not know.

And that terrifies me.

Oh Death.

I would love to do this job in your place.

Take my own life.

Eliminate all my fears of you.

Have a little bit of control over my demise.

But I cannot do that to the people in my life.

They will forever be asking themselves “why?”

“what could I have done to prevent this tragedy?”

“was this my fault?”

I do not want those in my life to suffer as I have.

So I will leave this in your hands, oh Death.

You have control over my fate.

Yet I want you to take your time.

Some days I do not feel ready to leave this earth.

Some days I am happy with the life I am living.

Some days.

Oh Death.

I know that when you take me,

Some people in my life will suffer.

And I do not want that for them.

I don’t want those who care about me to suffer,

But I want those who do not care,

Those who have done everything they could to ruin my life,

Those who have uttered hate filled things about my soul,

I want those who do not care to suffer.

Oh Death.

Bring me sweet release from this life I am living.

But let me live it a little longer.

-Shawna Ferguson 2017

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